Instructional Unit 02 4.3 -> Content, Language use, Organization

Content:

In 2nd para, he can share an example of a value he has gained from others so far and how it might have altered with his mindset on that particular subject.

In 2nd para, there are certain sentences that are too short and he should continue his sentence of " I have quite a few notable hobbies." instead of stopping there and also explain how certain sport intrigued or excites him instead of just stating them.

At the end of 2nd para, he can further talk about what are some take away or clarification he can obtain and potentially what he intends to do in the future rather than talking about the love for this course. 

He certainly has a wide coverage of content in 2nd para but with one liner sentences.

In 3rd para, he can provide what are some opportunities he wants to take from the module to upskill or improve from his weak public speaking skills. Something good is that he provide example of being better in speaking in a smaller setting environment.

Language use: 

The addressing of Prof Isabel should have been spelled in full term, "Professor Isabel" since it is a formal letter and shouldnt sound informal for a first impression.

The use of short-forms such as "Poly" in the second paragraph should be refrained in a formal letter and instead, spelt in full form, "Polytechnic".

Organization: 

The subject header gives an impression of him as someone that does not put in effort and very casual. I suggest it to be changed to as simple as "Self-Introduction".

He gave a sequential flowing format of his letter from introduction to strengths and branch out to weaknesses and how he wants to improve.